Smoked oysters have found a home in my heart. I’ve always swooned for them raw on the half shell, squeezed with lemon and enjoyed in the sunshine with a loved one. I save those moments for special occasions or the rare event I’m eating out when my mom comes to visit. Nowadays, I open the can, drain off the olive oil, sprinkle them in flaky … Continue reading Oysters for Nutrition and Perspective
“Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music–the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.” -Henry Miller I’m not feeling inspired. I’m not in the mood. I’m exhausted. I absolutely need to clip my toenails. I don’t have the right supplies. I need to wash the dishes and start prepping dinner. … Continue reading Creativity as Nourishment
I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive -Henry Miller Like an over-excited squirrel, I enter phases of digging through the piles of stress-related research. Sometimes, I can’t stop. I have moment after moment of “aha!” and “of course!” as I can apply new findings to my own experience. I light up hearing about the newest conclusions and correlations … Continue reading Understanding Stress
“No Mud, No Lotus” -Thich Nhat Hanh I am still in disbelief as I look back over the last 11 or so years. I didn’t think I’d survive. Only very recently have I grown strong enough to embark on the deliberate path of wiping off the mud. I’m smiling, beyond grateful for the fortitude and support that carried me through what felt like perpetual drowning … Continue reading Crawling Out of the Mud
When I have ______, then I’ll be happy. Once I finish ______, then I can relax. Once I get out of _____, things will be better. (Once I’m healthy, then I can start enjoying my life.) With originally good intentions, I have mastered the (dysfunctional) habit of putting off joy until I have done x, y and z, which, of course, never seem to get … Continue reading Choosing to Suffer
The F word. One of the most weighted and troubling beasts living in the mental landscape that is my brain. No one likes to talk about it. I try not to complain about it or fuel any thoughts related to the F word, but seeing as its grown to be a dominant aspect of my experience since my teens without any hint of letting up, … Continue reading The F word.
Inspired by a fad in New Zealand, I have started designing my coffin. I plan to use leftover and foraged wood, bits of bamboo, pieces of birch bark and moss, and to fill any gaps with resin and little hunks of turquoise that will glow in the sunshine. The inside will be lined with fluffy, periwinkle blankets and miniature LED bulbs along the border, just … Continue reading Building My Coffin
Just a few months ago, a new practitioner asked me what I’d do if I weren’t sick. I froze. A feeling of emptiness washed over, as I glanced at my partner, panicked. We waited in silence while I tried to grasp onto ideas, but nothing felt right. As a teenager, I’d always planned to do something creative and physical, tracing back to dreams of being … Continue reading When Being Sick Becomes Your Identity
Our culture often celebrates those with overflowing schedules. We are addicted to the caffeine-fueled, GO GO GO mentality, bowing down to busy-ness, impressive resumes, and those superhuman individuals that seem to always get things done. See more. Buy more. Work more. Travel more. Detox more. More movement. More juice. MORE GREENS! More yoga! More meditation! Everything in moderation, except for doing more. More is better, … Continue reading How I do Less and Choose Rest
For the past few years specifically, living in my body has often felt horrific. I craved an escape from managing this chronic illness, clawing my way to any semblance of stability or calm throughout the day, only to realize that by clinging, the intensity of my discomfort grew. The world of healthy people with nine to fives, walking their dogs after work before heading out … Continue reading When Everything Is stripped Away: What Remains?