When I have ______, then I’ll be happy. Once I finish ______, then I can relax. Once I get out of _____, things will be better. (Once I’m healthy, then I can start enjoying my life.) With originally good intentions, I have mastered the (dysfunctional) habit of putting off joy until I have done x, y and z, which, of course, never seem to get … Continue reading Choosing to Suffer
The F word. One of the most weighted and troubling beasts living in the mental landscape that is my brain. No one likes to talk about it. I try not to complain about it or fuel any thoughts related to the F word, but seeing as its grown to be a dominant aspect of my experience since my teens without any hint of letting up, … Continue reading The F word.
Just two months ago, I was blending up leftover cooked beef or rotisserie chicken and eggs to make something that sort of resembled pancakes. Meat-cakes! With a splash of maple syrup and a dollop of butter, they weren’t half bad. They even looked like the real deal, and browned up quite nicely, only tasting somewhat suspicious if you thought too long about the ingredients. Over … Continue reading Milk Powder Pancakes
Inspired by a fad in New Zealand, I have started designing my coffin. I plan to use leftover and foraged wood, bits of bamboo, pieces of birch bark and moss, and to fill any gaps with resin and little hunks of turquoise that will glow in the sunshine. The inside will be lined with fluffy, periwinkle blankets and miniature LED bulbs along the border, just … Continue reading Building My Coffin
Just a few months ago, a new practitioner asked me what I’d do if I weren’t sick. I froze. A feeling of emptiness washed over, as I glanced at my partner, panicked. We waited in silence while I tried to grasp onto ideas, but nothing felt right. As a teenager, I’d always planned to do something creative and physical, tracing back to dreams of being … Continue reading When Being Sick Becomes Your Identity
After some standard blood work and testing nine samples of his stool, my fiancee was dubbed safe–HIV and parasite free, that is–to be a donor. With a smile on his face, he blended up his beet-tinted bowel movement in our now retired blender, filtered out the solids through a strainer, and left the liquid on the counter for me to insert into my rectum. My … Continue reading Why We Put Poop in Our Blender
“The true method of knowledge is experiment.” —William Blake When Joe Rogan interviewed Dr. Shawn Baker back in 2017 about only eating meat for two years straight, increasing numbers of people began chatting about–and trying–the now somewhat trendy carnivore diet. Since then, a cult-like following has developed on Instagram and Facebook as they share miraculous stories turning around medical conditions deemed unsolvable by traditional western … Continue reading How the Carnivore Diet Can Heal Your Gut & Brain